I am by no means a ~~relationship expert~~. I will also proudly state that although Rachel and Ross were indeed on a break, that should not have given Ross the green light to sleep with somebody else. Then again, this is why I don't believe in breaks.
ANYWAY, I digress.
I remember watching a youtube video years back; it was an interview of a couple. The question was something to the effect of: What's your secret? How do you maintain this love of yours?
The answer struck a chord with me.
"You love people the way you want to be loved." Essentially, your definition of love, in terms of showcasing it, could be totally opposite of your significant other's...and that's something you have to always keep in mind.
If your man keeps trying to kiss you, touch you, love you...and you keep shaking those gestures off as annoying... Go back and analyze. When was the last time you initiated that with him? That's the love in his life that he's missing from you.
If you are out shopping, and each time you're out you are picking up a t-shirt, a mug, a cologne, etc. that makes you think of him... go back and analyze. When was the last time he sent you flowers? Or picked up something that made him think of you? He keeps saying that he doesn't need anything new; he has what he needs. But that's what you want, so you keep doing it for him, mindlessly.
You love your partner the way you want to be loved. You have to meet in the middle. This is a piece of advice I will never forget because you have to pay close attention to not only your actions, but also your partner's.
This inspired me to ask others around me, in an anonymous fashion, for their pieces of advice that guide them in a relationship.
"Communication--don't let things wait. If it's bothering you, you have to speak up."
"A good relationship is predicated on good communication, but maintained by a level of mutual understanding at which no communication is necessary. A good relationship if sparked by personality and identity, but is kept by a share set of goals and beliefs."
"Don't settle. Know your worth."
"Listen to each other to understand, not to respond... if that makes sense."
"Date nights are super important, once a week you have to make space for each other and show up in the relationship. This keeps our relationship a priority and always pushes us to go on new adventures."
"Relationship aren't always 50/50. You need to be able to see when your partner needs a little more from you and they will be able to do the same. It's all about being a team."
"Don'y stay in a relationship just to make someone else happy. Be confident in the fact that time really can heal everything. Just be honest with yourself."
"Don't let anyone change who you are as a person or feel embarrassed for being yourself. Learn from each other, grow with each other."
"STAY TRUE TO YOU. Don't let a bad past relationship ruin the start of a good one."
"Keep it fun. Keep it young. Keep trying to be those people you were when you first met."
"Always tell your person exactly how you feel and make sure they are also comfortable with sharing their feelings with you. Whenever talking about important subjects, make sure you are both in a comfortable, safe environment where you two can talk openly and honestly about anything personal."
"Do not go to bed upset with each other, no one wants to go to bed with yesterday's bullshit on their mind. Talk it out until it's resolved. For more complicated topics, resolving it will take more time, but if you are both serious, neither of you should mind."
"Stay private! Don't worry about what other people are doing; it can be much happier that way."
"Integrity. Were you looking for a more detailed answer?"
"Always put yourself in the other person's shoes before starting an argument."
"Make sure you like the person you're with. I see a lot of people complain about their relationships. Why stay?"
"Relationships shouldn't feel forced. It should come easy and natural if you're in the right one."
"Make your wife happy at all costs."
"Communicate! If you are annoyed at something small, like they forgot to pick up bread on the way home, say something! Just be sure to stop, think, and then talk. Try not to jump down their throat. Men HATE talking. Seriously. And the second you flip out, they shut down and hate talking even more. By discussing the little things, it gets easier to talk about big things when the time comes (like marriage, kids, etc)."
"Do the inner work on yourself so you can be healthy and present for a partner."
"Communication. Talk that shit out. Holding things back only creates a distance in a relationship"
"Never stop trying to show the other person you care."
"Always think of new ways to make them smile."
"Compromise. The best relationship exists when those two individuals act the same with or without each other being around. Stay genuine."
"Make an effort to understand each other's love language."
Thank you for submitting me these beautiful pieces of advice! My heart feels warm. (:
