First and foremost may I say, I’m NOT saying “I’m back!”
I am tired of patterns of being active and not being active. I am tired of searching “blog post ideas” for writing inspiration instead of listening to what’s on my mind.
You need to make time for the things you love, which I have been neglecting.
So here I am,
at 5 a.m.,
making time for something I love.
A lot has happened since the last time I blogged, (We can get into finer details at a later time) so for now, let me catch you up to speed.
I cannot believe it’s been almost 5 months since I have last blogged. Seeing that was a serious wake-up call. It spiraled me into a chain of when-was-the-last-time thoughts.
When was the last time I danced?
When was the last time I made art for fun?
I’ve been trying to get to a yoga class for the last two months. When will I make it?
Are you starting to think of your when-was-the-last-time’s?
Let the blog post commence.
And boy, as a true Capricorn, I adore routine:
Go home/my boyfriends.
My schedule is basically 8-2 at the office and then 4-Close waitressing, so as you can assume, most of [all of] my days consist of a mindless rotation of my routine.
But as I got deeper, embedding this into my daily life, I noticed that I was neglecting time for myself and even neglecting some responsibilities. Instead of cleaning out my car or catching up with a friend, I usually crawl right into bed as I fear being tired the next day for work. I count down each day until the weekend, however when it arrives, It’s oftentimes being spend catching up on errands I’ve been putting off, making time for family I haven’t made enough time for, trying to squeeze in plans with my friends so they don't forget me... Then, the weekend ends up being more exhausting that the weekdays.
Does anyone else feel this way?
It’s kind of dark isn’t it? Smiling for your customers/co-workers, putting on the best small-talk performance, and you pour it on so much that when you get home, you have none left for yourself or the people at home who matter most.
By no means am I saying I am exhausted of what I do. In fact, it’s the complete opposite. I LOVE what I do. I love being busy, I love making money, and I thoroughly love both of my jobs. The bottom line is, I am disappointed in myself for the lack of time I have made for myself.
The most recent analogy I can relate this back to:
The other day, I spent L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y all day baking a cake for my boyfriend (Nick). And I’m not talking seven-tier wedding cake--just your average Betty Crocker mix that has been in the cabinet since God-knows-when. I pre-heat the oven to a much higher temperature than suggested, because you know, who has time to wait 45 minutes for a cake to be done? Then I realized we didn’t have vegetable oil in the house, so I substituted it with olive oil (can I do that? oh well). I let it bake, cool, then I plopped it onto a cutting board so I could frost it neatly with two coats. For almost an hour, I even carefully decorated it to be as Pinterest-worthy as possible. It. Was. Beautiful...ish.
It was time to head to Nick’s, so I grabbed a spatula and slid that sucker right under the cake to prop it up and get it into the to-go pan. The cake gave out and the spatula busted through the center, and took my heart and my patience along with it.
I called Nick practically in tears and he loved it even more after hearing what happened. He insisted that I still bring the crumbled mess of a cake.
Moral of the story:
You can prep all you want, you can put all the effort and energy you have into masking the exterior to look perfect, but,
...without the right ingredients,
...without your personal recipe,
...without taking the extra 10 minutes to make sure your needs internally are being met,
you will, inevitably, end up crumbling like that cake.
With all of that being said, life CAN be a piece of cake, just as long as you remember the ingredients that bake the inside of the cake have everything to do with the outside appearance and performance of the cake.
Now let’s make it to that yoga class!
...starting next week.